50 Questions to Ask Your Parents About Their Life

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50 Questions to Ask Your Parents About Their Life

Most of us know our parents as parents. Far fewer of us know them as the teenager who snuck out to a dance, the young worker on a first pay packet, or the newcomer who stepped off a ship into a country they’d never seen.

Those stories don’t last forever. The best time to ask is now. Below are 50 questions grouped by life stage. You don’t need to ask all of them. Pick five, put the kettle on, and start.

Before you start: three tips

  • Record it. Use your phone’s voice memo. Ask permission first, and keep it running.
  • Ask one question at a time. Then wait. Silence often leads to the best answer.
  • Follow the story. If they mention a name, a place or a smell, ask “Tell me more about that.”

Childhood and growing up

  1. Where were you born, and what do you know about the day you arrived?
  2. What is your earliest memory?
  3. What was the house you grew up in like? What did it smell like?
  4. What did your parents do for work?
  5. Who was in your family, and who were you closest to?
  6. What did you do for fun when you were a kid?
  7. What foods did you eat at home? Is there a dish you still dream about?
  8. Were you well behaved? What’s the naughtiest thing you did?
  9. What chores did you have?
  10. Who was your hero when you were young?

School and teenage years

  1. What was school like? Which teacher do you remember most?
  2. What were you good at? What did you hate?
  3. What music did you listen to as a teenager?
  4. What did you wear? Was there a fashion you’d rather forget?
  5. Who was your first crush?
  6. What did you dream of becoming?
  7. What was the biggest challenge of your teenage years?

Work and money

  1. What was your first job, and how much did you earn?
  2. What was your proudest day at work?
  3. What was the hardest job you ever did?
  4. Did you ever take a big risk with your career?
  5. Who was the best boss or mentor you had?
  6. What did you spend your first pay packet on?
  7. What would you do differently about money if you could start again?

Love, family and friendship

  1. How did you meet your partner?
  2. What made you fall in love?
  3. What was your wedding day like?
  4. What did you feel the day I (or my brother or sister) was born?
  5. What is the hardest part of raising children?
  6. What lessons did you learn from your own parents?
  7. Who are the friends who shaped your life?
  8. What does a good marriage look like to you?

Big moments and hard times

  1. What events in history do you remember most clearly?
  2. Where were you when something world-changing happened?
  3. Have you ever moved to a new town or country? What was it like to start over?
  4. What was the hardest year of your life, and how did you get through it?
  5. Is there something you’ve never told anyone?
  6. What’s something you’re still proud of?
  7. What’s one thing you regret, and what did it teach you?

Wisdom and what matters

  1. What do you know now that you wish you’d known at 20?
  2. What has made you happiest in life?
  3. What are you most grateful for?
  4. How do you want to be remembered?
  5. What advice would you give your grandchildren?
  6. What family traditions do you hope we keep?
  7. What would you like to see us do more of?

Looking back, looking ahead

  1. If you could relive one day, which would it be?
  2. What has surprised you most about getting older?
  3. What’s still on your bucket list?
  4. Is there a story you’d like written down so it’s never forgotten?

What to do with the answers

Recordings get lost, phones break and notes end up in drawers. The most lasting way to keep these stories is to turn them into a printed book: transcribed, edited, illustrated with old photographs and bound so the whole family can hold it. If you’d rather not do it alone, a guided service can interview your parent, shape the chapters and look after design and printing.

FAQs

What if my parent doesn’t like talking about the past? Start with light topics like food, music and school. Hard topics can wait, or be skipped.

Can I ask these questions by phone or video? Yes. Record the call (with permission). Distance is no barrier.

How long should an interview last? 30 to 45 minutes is plenty. Several short sessions beat one long one.

Call to action: Want these stories kept for good? [Talk to Life Book Memories] about turning your parents’ answers into a finished family book.

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