How to Plan Your Own Celebration of Life: A Step-by-Step Guide
Planning your own celebration of life means deciding, while you can, how you want to be remembered and writing it down for the people you love. It does not have to be morbid or complicated. It can be a quiet afternoon of choosing songs and photos, and it can spare your family a lot of guessing at a very hard time.
This guide walks you through the choices, in an order that is easy to follow.
What is a celebration of life?
A celebration of life is a service or gathering that focuses on the person’s story, personality and relationships rather than following a fixed tradition. It can take place in a chapel, a garden, a club, at home or on a beach. Some families hold it in place of a funeral, and others hold it alongside one.
There is no right format. What matters is that it feels like you.
Step 1: Decide the tone
Start with the feeling you want people to leave with. Do you picture laughter and stories, a quiet and reflective gathering, or something in between? Write one or two sentences about the atmosphere. Every other choice gets easier once the tone is clear.
Step 2: Choose a place and style
Think about where you would like people to gather, and whether you prefer a formal service, an informal get-together or a small private farewell. If a place has meaning for you, such as a favorite park or a family home, note it down. Your family can then check whether it is practical.
Step 3: Pick the music, readings and photos
Music often carries the most emotion at a service. List the songs that matter to you, and any poems or readings you would like. Choose the photographs and videos you want shown, so your family does not have to search through years of albums and phones.
Step 4: Name the people who will speak or help
Write down who you would like to say a few words, who you would like to read, and who you would like to look after the practical details. Mention anyone you would prefer not to put under pressure. It is kind to talk to those people first.
Step 5: Write down the practical wishes
Note whether you prefer burial or cremation, any religious or cultural customs you would like followed, the flowers or donations you would prefer, and the dress code. If you have a funeral director or a pre-paid plan, record the details here as well.
Step 6: Record where your important documents are
Your family will need to find things like your will, insurance papers and key contacts. Write down where each item is kept and who to call. We cover this in more detail in our end of life checklist.
Step 7: Share it with someone you trust
A plan nobody can find does not help. Tell at least one person where your wishes are stored, and give access to the people you want to carry them out. Update your plan whenever your wishes change.
Common questions
Is a celebration of life the same as a funeral? Not always. A funeral usually follows a more traditional format, while a celebration of life focuses on telling your story. Many people combine elements of both.
When should I start planning? Any time is a good time. Many people begin in their fifties or sixties, or after a major life event, but there is no wrong age to write down what matters to you.
Does planning ahead replace a will? No. Funeral wishes and a will do different jobs. A will deals with your property and legal affairs, so speak to a solicitor about that. Lifebook Memories is not a legal service.
Start planning with Lifebook Memories
Lifebook Memories gives you a secure, guided space to record your wishes, store your favorite photos, videos and music, and choose who can see them. Visit lifebookmemories.com to see how it works and start at your own pace.