How to Write Your Life Story for Your Family (and Choose What Is Shown at Your Memorial)
Your life story is one of the most valued things you can leave your family. You do not need to be a writer. A few honest paragraphs, a handful of well-chosen photos and the songs you love will tell your family more about you than any formal summary.
Here is how to start, what to include and how to keep it safe.
Why your story matters
When someone dies, family often realise how much they never asked. They want to know what you were like at their age, what made you laugh and what you were proud of. Writing it down answers those questions and gives the person leading your service real material to work from.
Start small
Do not try to write a whole autobiography. Aim for one short entry at a time, ten minutes at a sitting. A paragraph about a single day is better than a plan for a book you never finish.
Prompts to get you started
- Where did you grow up, and what do you remember most about home?
- Who shaped you, and what did they teach you?
- What was your first job, and what did it teach you?
- How did you meet the people you love most?
- What was the hardest time in your life, and what got you through it?
- What are you proudest of?
- What made you laugh until you cried?
- What do you hope your family remembers about you?
- What advice would you give your grandchildren, or the next generation?
Write the way you talk
Use your own voice. If you tell stories with humour, write them that way. Short sentences are fine. Your family will hear you in the words, and that is the point.
Choose the photos and videos you want remembered
Most families have thousands of photos and no idea which ones you loved. Pick a small set that shows different stages of your life, such as childhood, family, friends, work, travel and favourite places.
- Add a short caption naming the people, the place and the year
- Include a few photos of you being yourself, not just posed portraits
- Choose a favourite video clip or voice message if you have one
Captions matter more than they seem. In twenty years, nobody may remember who is standing next to you.
Choose the music
Music is often the part people remember most. Make a short list of songs for different moments, such as music as guests arrive, a song for a tribute or slideshow, and music for the close. If a song has a story, write it down, because your family may want to share it.
Write letters for the people you love
A short personal note to a partner, child, grandchild or friend can mean more than anything else you leave. You can write one now and update it later. Keep each one specific: a memory, a thank you, and one wish for their future.
Keep it safe and share it with the right people
Photos on old phones and loose papers in drawers are easily lost. Keep your story, photos and wishes in one place that you can update, and decide who is allowed to see it. Tell at least one trusted person how to find it.
Common questions
I am not a good writer. Does that matter? No. Your family wants your voice, not perfect grammar.
How long should my story be? As long or short as you like. A few entries is a gift.
Can I change it later? Yes. Your wishes and memories can change, so review your entries from time to time.
Write your story with Lifebook Memories
Lifebook Memories offers guided prompts and a secure space for your stories, photos, videos and music, so your family has everything they need to celebrate your life. See how it works at lifebookmemories.com.